This month Jane magazine is sponsoring a contest to get a 29-year-old virgin laid, a cheap publicity stunt that misses the bigger point: Why does a "funny, gorgeous" virgin need to place what is essentially an ad for sex at all?
There was time when virginity was a prize, a treasure to be guarded and a badge of honor, but now, it seems that for the modern career woman virginity is nothing but a curse.
"But that was the point when everything shifted." Some people may think Amanda is unique, maybe even a freak.
But the fact is, there are a surprising number of women -- smart, savvy and attractive women -- who still haven't lost their virginity into their 20s or 30s.
"If you must date a virgin, keep in mind" that in his opinion, "as soon as you invade her space so to speak, her emotions will intensify.
She will exact certain expectations on you, whether you know it or not." He goes on, "An obese thirty-something career woman virgin, for example, is not on the same level as a naäve [sic] 18-year-old virgin with a strict background who has never dated before," reinforcing the stereotype that there's something physically or psychologically wrong with a woman who is 30-something and still a virgin.
But he didn't call until the following week and things went downhill from there.
Where anyone who isn't doing it is too unhip to know better.When Amanda was 26 years old she found herself in a familiar but awkward situation: She was still a virgin and the guy she had been dating for three months didn't know it. About a week later they went to the movies together, and afterward, he walked her to the car.She wasn't ready to sleep with him yet, but she was close, real close. She leaned in to kiss him and he backed away, "like I was some disgusting object." "It made me scared to date, scared to talk to guys. "No offense, but most people do that in high school," he told her.She still tried, occasionally, and after about a year she met another guy, someone else from work.(According to the CDC report, 44.4 percent of girls between 15 and 19 had sex by the time they were 17, compared with 35.5 percent of women more than 20 years older who lost their virginity at the same age.) Sure, we have young people who are encouraged to wait until marriage no matter when that might be.We have born-again virgins restoring their hymens with plastic surgery, teenagers with promise rings and a government that promotes abstinence education.What's worse, the longer she waits the harder it is to find a guy -- not just the right guy, but any guy -- to do the honors.Which prompts the question, Has the sexual revolution ironically made it impossible for a mature woman to get laid for the first time?But then he also didn't know she was a virgin, and one night when they were practically naked together in bed it happened again, almost in the exact same way.He asked her about former lovers, and while she laughs nervously now as she retells the story, it wasn't funny then.