That story has a happy ending, when Ben overcomes his nuptial fears and proposes to Jennifer. I know that what I’m about to tell you is probably going to be really harmful to a lot of women, but I believe in being totally honest with my readers, so here goes. If you are in your mid thirties, staying in a dead end relationship could be socially, and maternally, suicidal.
I know someone who has spent 7 years – her childbearing years – waiting for her boyfriend to propose. If you’re willing to be that woman – the one who waits forever for the day that never comes, then that’s your prerogative.
Cutting him off after a few months because he’s not positive that she’s “the one”? Which is why it’s so comfortable for him to keep things exactly the way they are now. And like you said, it’s all bullshit excuses he’s giving.
Or patiently allowing him to fall in love with her, to consider her his best friend, to know that he can’t picture his life without her? I proposed to my wife after 14 months because my girlfriend was 38, we both wanted kids, and I was a dating coach who finally figured out what was important in life. I have three very close friends who were with their girlfriends for 3 years before proposing. The problem is that it’s not comfortable for you to walk this tightrope, investing more and more time with a man who is not ready to commit. This is just moving deck chairs around the Titanic, spinning wheels, making noise. If a man wants to do something and if he’s so into a woman and fear of losing her, he’ll do anything in his might to keep her.
He’s never even considered giving a girl a key to his apartment!
But when he moved this past July, he let me decorate/organize his kitchen which he said was big for him because he likes to be in control of that.