Further, it is agreed that both sides will attempt to silence the lewd remarks of landlords, or roommates.
Both will avoid having their mothers call at in the morning.
Furthermore, if both members consent, this timetable may be sped up; however, if either party "gets too serious" and disregards this schedule, the other party may dissolve the relationship on the grounds of "moving too fast" and may once again be said to be "on the market."4.
TERMS OF EXCLUSIVITY: For the first thirty (30) days, both parties agree not to ask questions about the other's whereabouts on weekends, weeknights, or over long holiday periods.
On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman.Note: I have no idea where these items originated, with the exceptions noted.If one of them came from your fertile mind or hapless life, then let me know and I'll say that you claimed credit for it.TERMS OF PAYMENT: It is agreed that -- respective gross income aside "he" will pick up the tab at all dinners, clubs, theaters, and breakfasts until: He considers her suitably impressed, He is broke, or He says, "this is ridiculous, you pay!" Not included in this agreement are meals ordered from the bedroom, which are subject to the availability of discretionary funds on hand at the time.7.DEFINITION OF RELATIONSHIP: Should said relationship proceed past the first date, both parties mutually agree to use the following terminology in describing their said "dating": For the first thirty (30) days, both parties consent to say they are "going out".(This neither implies nor states any guarantee of exclusivity.) Following the first thirty (30) days, both parties may say they are "seeing somebody" and may be referred to by third parties as "an item".Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there.First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves."Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but the men nodded in understanding, and a few actually smirked.Further, during the first six (6) weeks each member of said relationship agrees to attempt one spontaneous home-cooked meal or to arrange the delivery of at least one unexpected bouquet of flowers.Following the first forty-five (45) days, both parties will return to their normal personalities.6.