Nod quietly as your traveling companions comment about how sucky that must be every time you go out. I knew about this across the country because my Twitter and Facebook feeds had standard status messages like “THUNDERPOCALYPSE 2012!
” and there were really stylish photos of puddles on Instagram and Flickr. “That’s like a Tuesday.” And when the thunderstorms do hit here - and for a couple months a year, they are daily - everyone just walks under an awning or a bus shelter, because the storm will be done in seven minutes and the sun will come out again, as if nothing ever occurred.
“But it’s the size of my fist.” He sighs, shakes his head and goes into the bedroom to work from there. When I first moved to Miami, I eagerly looked for co-working spaces, and my heart sank as the one co-working space I did find led to a disconnected phone number and a webpage that was overwritten with the Spanish word “cállate,” or shut up.
There has been a movement, if anything, for Miami to be positioned as the tech city hub for Latin America. Especially when they say “Chinito.” (Jesus, especially when they say chinito.) Before moving to Miami, my knowledge of Spanish consisted of the following: two years of awkward high school Spanish, before deciding that I should refocus on re-learning Chinese, because I thought it would be great if I could speak to my parents fluently in their native language; like the ending of the Joy Luck Club, except with just a little less estrogen.
My boyfriend looked at my social media feeds over my shoulder and scoffed. Until the cycle repeats itself 16 minutes later, anyway. You will become paranoid about stepping on lizards and cockroaches here.
Summer days in Florida bring out all sorts of animals. He rolls his eyes as he reaches up, grabs a paper towel and comes down on the helpless insect.
You get surrounded by so much ridiculousness that your baseline for what is low key gets completely screwed and you think yourself, “Well, I can wear these white shorts, because it’s not as ridiculous as that German guy who is on the corner over there with his mesh top and the magenta hot pants.” And then your friends back home see your photos on Facebook and they’re all, “He’s changed so much already.” But all of this isn’t Miami - Miami is over the causeway and is much larger in area, mostly working class, and necessary to traverse by automobile, like Los Angeles or Houston. People give you hints that Miami is warm during the summer, and that humidity is an issue.
Most people I know in Miami don’t like traveling to Miami Beach, mostly because parking here is awful and seriously, who would be caught dead being seen with people wearing white shorts? But if you’ve lived in a place like, say, San Francisco, where the year low is 68 degrees and the year high is 72 degrees, you don’t really have a proper warning until you’ve actually lived through it.