So it's not something I'm pursuing with any fervency at this time.
When those two relationships happened, I was much more into serious and far less into casual.
After seeing some relationships get serious that I never would have predicted going anywhere, and other relationships that I thought had a lot of promise crash and burn, one thing is pretty clear: the role of timing in relationships is impossible to overstate.
(I'm not sure if the best next step is, "Therefore, I will ask out everyone who interests me as soon as I meet them, so as to not waste time," but I get his logic.)I get that, but consider the fact that men and women are generally different in how we decide that we're interested in someone.
In fact, as a relatively low-maintenance girl who isn't attracted to insecurity or indecision, I find something pretty compelling about a guy with whom I obviously share a lot in common, who sends a message emphasizing those commonalities and then closes with, "My name is X.
Of course we don't all actually assume you're going to actually kill us, but over millions of years being physically weaker than men, there's still a part of our brain that subconsciously correlates our level of emotional comfort with our physical safety.
Just enough for us to give us some intuition about one another.
Edited for a PS: It's interesting to note that men generally message women already knowing for certain that they would want to go out on a date with this person.
It sounds like what you're talking about is reptiles mating?
I think he means she met someone else who really grabbed her interest (or got more serious with someone she was already seeing, or got exasperated after an awful date and decided to swear off online dating altogether) and she stopped actively looking for someone to date.