You found a bottle of painkillers in his medicine cabinet, but he’s not hurt and hasn’t been any time recently. The most important reason not to date someone with serious issues is that you won’t want him around your child. If it ends badly, he’ll still be your neighbor, which means he’ll be in your life. Your child won’t understand why it’s suddenly weird for him to play catch with the neighbor or why you hide when you see his new girlfriend pull into the driveway.
But in this moment when men are struggling to claim their place as equal parents while society expects divorced dads to be the lackadaisical weekend father, I get why you are compelled to go overboard with your expressed devotion. If you are indeed ready for a real love, create a space for her.
You likely can’t drop everything for a date, or sleepover mid-week, so this means you really need to keep the communication flowing to compensate for the lack of face time.
If he’s not down to chat for twenty-minutes on the phone or Skype after your baby is asleep, he’s not dating material for you. Deadbeat Dad You may know how crazy it can be to coordinate with an ex when it comes to visitation and finances.
It’s very common for guys with kids to write in their profiles: “My kids come first,” or “My daughter is the center of my world! You want a potential mate to know that your life includes the giant presence of a kid or four. Plus, if you’ve gone through divorce or another crisis that landed you as a single parent, you are no doubt concerned about giving your kids extra care and sense of security. But it is even trickier if one or both of the parents put the kids before their partner.
You also want women to know you’re a devoted dad (it’s no secret chicks get hot for guys who are great with kids! It’s no surprise that so many blended families I know struggle with adjusting all parties to a home where everyone is suddenly expected to revolve around the new relationship. One dad I went out with nearly boasted when telling me about a four-month relationship that went sour because his girlfriend did not understand why he’d abruptly leave in the middle of dinner because his tween son would call, upset about some matter with his hockey coach.