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Any time you’re flirting with the idea of wavering on your non-negotiables, remember this: Habits can change. You’ve heard this piece of advice a hundred different times in a hundred different ways, but it’s repeated over and over because it’s so essential. The average human doesn’t come without their own custom set of insecurities, no matter how massive, microscopic, or mediocre those self-doubts are.

That said, it can take years and countless experiences to trust the idea of trusting your gut.

In today’s world, it’s increasingly more difficult to keep things private.

Social media is a place many go to share (and overshare) their every thought, feeling, meal, outfit, and sunset (I am the #1 offender of this, so I get it).

However, because dating is so delicate, I’ve found it’s much better to keep it sacred as long as you can.

Not to hide it away or keep it secret, but just to make 100% sure what you’re feeling isn’t fleeting and who they are is true before you go sharing your newfound love with the world.

Trusting your gut could end up saving you a lot of time, energy, and yet another dating letdown.

Does this mean you should go into every date ready to spill the deepest details of your life to a potential partner?Even if things are going great and you’ve never felt like this before and he does everything right.Even when you’re literally bursting at the seams to shout “FINALLY! ” from whichever mountaintop is nearest your town — wait.This is something my friends, family, and even therapist have told me for years, and I always wanted to listen but never did. When pickings seem so slim and you feel (what seems like) a very real connection with someone, it’s human nature to want to dive in head, feet, and whole body first. However, for as many times as you’ve taken this all-in approach, has it worked out well?Hopeless romantics and girls who are just so ready for the real deal will agree that the idea of spreading your intense, lustful emotions even thinner by divvying them out to more than one guy at a time seems exhausting and impossible. The idea behind dating more than one guy at once is to keep your options open, not be so available and, most importantly, buy yourself time to figure out which guy is truly worthy of all the attention you’re ready and willing to give.This is why non-negotiables (the qualities and characteristics someone must or must NOT have in order for you to feel extra great about dating them) are so important at the offset of any date.Having a well-crafted, thoughtful collection of attributes you either require or know don’t mix well with your own isn’t being picky — it’s an effort to not settle for less than what you know you want and what works best for you. Got it.” The problem, however, is that so many people don’t trust themselves.So, after extra careful consideration, a few heavy pours of red wine, and several trips down dating memory lane that I didn’t want to take, I’ve landed on these five crucial tips when it comes to dating.At first, you might feel the need to downplay your strong personality.Being a 30-year-old woman who’s experienced her fair (and sometimes completely unfair) share of dating, Match and I both knew we were the perfect, er, match.Writing for the world’s most well-known dating site has provided me with invaluable insight into the wide world of romance and relationships, but I’ve also garnered a large amount of my own firsthand experience from all the dating I’ve suffered through.


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