To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
We ended up with these questions: The Bible commands Christians to marry “in the Lord,” that is, to marry other Christians (1 Corinthians ; 2 Corinthians ).
Any advice for inviting others into a relationship to that end? But I think what we want to do is work really hard in our churches to create a culture of discipleship.
I love this question because I’m such a big believer in what God has called the covenant community of his people to be in a local context. In this culture, the norm, the air we breathe, is that older men are serious about seeking out younger men to train them; not just train them in the Bible, but really train them in what it looks like to apply the Scriptures to their lives.
But in a day when so much nominalism passes for authentic maturity, give us a few simple marks of spiritual growth that a man or woman should be looking for in a potential spouse.
I think what you are looking for is seriousness about growth in the person’s faith.
podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.
Now practically speaking, this means singles are seeking out people to speak into their lives.
They are being discipled, whether that be organizationally or organically, whether they are part of a church’s system for discipleship or they just found an older man or an older woman and invited that person to speak into their lives.
And I think those pieces are a much safer gauge than whether they highlight passages in their Bible and show up to service every week.
And so I think the church really serves and helps Christian singles consider marriage and consider dating.
Within the covenant community of faith, there should be those around a person that can speak of their reputation and whether they are serious about growing in the Lord and putting sin to death in their life. Is there seriousness in this person to grow in their relationship and understanding with the Lord?